The Loaded Dog

I enter the shop. Looks ok except there are open boxes of donuts everywhere. It's chaotic. I eventually find the menu in small writing on one of the walls and see Hot Dog and Loaded Hotdog (which is $9.00) Ok, I say to myself. That is the reason I came here, to get a decent hotdog. I am excited. I go to the counter. 2 x loaded hotdogs please. The guy takes a second to stop yelling over the 2 women working there and says "what kind?" The menu says loaded dog. "What kind? American?" He asks. Only he knows. I only know of Loaded Hotdog. "American?" He repeats. I agree, since he's not picking up on the confusing nature of his own menu. Is he asking if I'm American? I saw a documentary about bears once based in Alaska. Maybe that's it. I nod without conviction. He bustles off to throw things around in the kitchen, still yelling at the two women. One of them is seemingly delivering the open trays of donuts. She doesn't understand the instructions given but leaves anyway. I consider doing the same. I order a waffle donut whilst I'm waiting. The woman tallies my order. 2 drinks, waffle donut aaand.... "2 loaded hot dogs? American?" I nod again. There is no other way. She is distracted as he is still yelling at her from the kitchen. She has the look of every person I have ever worked with who is trapped in a small space all day with an overbearing, intolerable, underskilled (yet controlling) boss. The guy comes back from the kitchen and hands me a box. I am free, but at what cost. I go to my car since I need to enjoy the freedom I have to be away from this place. I open the box. An American Loaded Dog is a medium untoasted bun with a skinless dog, mustard, ketchup and a fragile-as-new-christmas-snow dusting of cheese. It tastes like an insubstantial piece of bread that has been wrestled back from a swan at a local lake. Thin. Used. Pre-loved. I would pay $10 to wrestle a swan at a local lake but I doubt I would put myself through this again. I contemplate what the regular hot dog is. Maybe this without the hint of cheese. Maybe the ghost of a Loaded Dog, tethered to the donut fridge for eternity. If you love your children please don't go here.
Feb 12th, 2023

Aug 1st, 2022